A man is taking notes in a notebook

Sometimes one of the hardest things in the world is to look in the mirror. And I don’t mean look at your hair or your perfectly put on make-up for the night out you’re about to enjoy. I mean look – really look.

We all have the perfectly formed idea of the person we want to be, the things we want to achieve and more importantly the way we want others to see us. We have this persona, a masquerade mask of identities that we put on to suit every occasion in our life – amplifying the vision of ourselves we want others to perceive.

But you see, there is a danger with this. An intrinsic danger to ourselves; because every time we do this we the very fabric out of being; our truest form.

I get you – being you is hard.

Those string of pesky imperfections and home truths that we cover up with every happy Instagram post. The Photoshopped window to our fabricated lives. But strip away all the contouring, all the re-touching and the bottles of Dom Perignon in our hands and what do we have left? We have us, you, me, the core.

It’s so interesting because we all want the best for us. We all want to live a life that we feel we so desperately deserve. But if it’s one thing that I have learnt is that by being true to yourself and your inner most desires, no matter how crazy or selfish or even outright stupid – they are yours and yours alone.

Diving into your inner most heart can be one of the scariest journeys of all. Not knowing or understanding how to address those things inside that you keep putting on the kitchen side with the un-opened bills. Just something you promise yourself you’ll get to opening – eventually. But most of us never do. We keep putting off and putting off what we want and, live life. Sucked into the ever-revolving door of mortgage payments and 9am meetings, knowing that this is ‘real life’ and you’ve ‘grown-up’.

See – when you look in the mirror you should be able to smile. Smile back at you because you love you. You love what you see in that reflective pane of glass. Yet how many of you truly can say that you love what you see?

Many consider travelling the world with a backpack one of the most exciting but terrifying adventures they could ever embark on. But I think a journey more frightening and fulfilling is the one you have with yourself, inside. Not the whimsical journey that you feel will change your life only to return home to the same set of issues.

We all go through trauma in our lives. We all deal with hardship that others couldn’t possibly understand. We all lose people we love that breaks our hearts into a million pieces that nobody has ever experienced before. But that’s the thing; we all have. We all go through shit. We all go through loss and we all, collectively, feel the same when it hits the fan.

But why does that matter? It matters because we all want one thing and one thing alone, to feel loved. To feel compassion and warmth when we are in our darkest days.

Yet most of us look outward for that love. We gather those around us near and dear to help us through an ordeal and rough patch. Never once looking inward for comfort or empathy.

Next time you need to feel love. Next time you need to feel compassion and next time you need to feel complete. Look in the mirror.

Because – if you can’t love yourself then how can you expect others to give you the love you deserve?

 

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